Well, yeah. It was dead alright.

The South Bend (Ind.) Tribune reports that police were alerted by a cross country skier to a dead body seated on a park bench in a cemetery. When police and fire rescue units arrived they found a dummy with a pumpkin head and trousers stuffed with straw. Well, at least the dead part was right.

Hot pants knickers

A family home was saved from burning down when a pair of giant knickers were used to put out a fire.

Jenny Marsey’s size 18-20 cotton pants were grabbed to cover a frying pan fire at her home in Hartlepool.

Her son and nephew were trying to fry some bread when the blaze broke out, reports the BBC. They grabbed the knickers from a pile of washing, doused them in water, and threw them over the fire.

Mrs. Marsey, 53, said: “My £4.99 parachute knickers have come in handy for something. We’ve had a good laugh that they were a bit like a fire blanket.”

Now where did I put my glass eye?

More at Ashes and glass eye

An urn full of ashes, a glass eye and even a small child were among the items left behind in hotels last year. Lucky charms, mayoral chains and a pet cat have also been found in rooms at Travelodge hotels in the last 12 months. The hotel chain has also come across a suitcase full of diamond jewellery, a £12,000 gold necklace and the keys to a Bentley car.

Bizarre items included a 6ft by 6ft remote control model helicopter and a lucky charm Buddha which the owner returned from Dubai to collect because he was experiencing bad luck without it.