Words From The “Home”

Link

Douglas Adams

“He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”

Douglas Adams

English humorist & science fiction novelist 1952 – 2001

via  The Quotations Page.

Hmmm.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Bill Watterson, cartoonist, “Calvin and Hobbes”
US cartoonist (1958 – )

From Saint George (Burns, that is.)

I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect.
- George Burns

Thought for the day

Christopher Morley

from Quotes of the Day

“Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.”

The Theory of the Universe

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Douglas Adams
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 – 2001)

The more things change the more they stay the same

The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.

Daniel Webster

Link

Before you make that questionable decision…

…just remember that “Oy!” is just “Yo!” spelled backwards.

Sunday Quote

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Herm Albright

via Herm Albright Quotes – The Quotations Page

Been there, done that…

Quotations Page

“Adventure is just bad planning.”

Roald Amundsen
Norwegian Arctic & Antarctic explorer

Fred Allen

“Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.”

Fred Allen

Things to ponder. (Thanks, Katherine)

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria.  They’re the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What happened?”
22. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
23. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Today’s Quote

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Quotes – The Quotations Page

Today’s quote

Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.

Walter Lippmann

Link to The Quotations Page

Lottery Quote

I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

- Fran Lebowitz

Quote

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.”

-Einstein

Today’s thought

If aging improves things I must be approaching magnificent.

Today’s thought

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

- Groucho Marx

Gruntled?

If you can be “disgruntled” can you be “gruntled? Turns out that you can according to Webster. “Gruntle” is defined as “to put in a good humor”. Wonderful thing, the English language.

Hey! It’s Monday morning. Give me a break here.

Today’s quote

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not

Mark Twain