Oldster's View

Fight Against Maturity

Having ended all other crime police seize horse chestnuts

A policeman stopped and searched four children – for having conkers. [Horse chestnuts, Yanks.]
The children were issued with forms informing them why they were stopped from knocking the conkers from the tree. Diana Jayne told how she and seven-year-old son Kiya went back to the tree in Littlehampton, West Sussex, the next day – and were confronted by the same policeman.

Diana, 41, said she was told the tree had a preservation order and was on private property. The local council later confessed neither was true. According to The Sun she said: “The kids were only throwing sticks up into the tree – it was harmless fun.”

Rebecca Richardson, 36, whose son Charlie, 11, was also issued with a form, said: “I thought it was a joke.” Sussex Police confirmed: “We confiscated a large bag of conkers. The forms are a necessary form of bureaucracy to ensure parents are aware we have spoken to their children.”

October 5, 2006 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Having ended all other crime police seize horse chestnuts

Maybe he just liked the house?

A mystery man arrested for breaking into the same house three times in Wales is baffling the authorities. Police and immigration officials have no idea of the man’s name, age, nationality – or what language he speaks. Magistrates at Llanelli were told he had broken into the same house, near Ammanford, three times, washed himself, cooked food, and stole a sewing kit.

The man, who appeared to be in his 30s with dark receding hair and olive skin, was remanded in custody as no plea could be taken. Laura Carthew, prosecuting, said: “A map of the world has been offered to the defendant with no response.”

She also said they presented him with flags from all the countries in the world, but this met with a similar response. He has briefly spoken once in a language thought to be Amharic, but when a translator was called they said they did not understand him and had no clue to the dialect he was speaking.

The man’s solicitor Mike Reed said in his 30 years’ experience he had never come across a similar situation. He said that in a previous hearing, the court heard how writing in a book apparently discarded by the man had been identified as belonging to a “small tribe at the bottom of the Atlas mountains” in Morocco.

October 5, 2006 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Maybe he just liked the house?