Oldster's View

Fight Against Maturity

Well, that’s one way to mash potatoes

Yahoo! News
ROME – A woman in a town near Naples [Italy] got an unwelcome surprise when she bought a sack of potatoes at a nearby market, put them into water to peel and discovered one of them was a hand grenade apparently left over from World War II.

…alarmed [the woman] called neighbors, who in turn called police. Officers detonated the grenade in a park on Wednesday, state police said.

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February 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Well, that’s one way to mash potatoes

Robber robbed

Yahoo! News
A [North Carolina] man charged with robbing a bank, for the second time since 2005, tried to show police the loot, but discovered he had been robbed, Fayetteville police said.

Joseph Thomas Mulkerin, 46, was arrested at a…motel Tuesday and charged with common law robbery of $2,179 from the [bank]  said [a] police spokeswoman…

He had been released from prison Jan. 11 after serving a sentence for the 2005 robbery of the same bank, in which he pleaded guilty to taking $1,098.

Mulkerin went to his motel room to show officers the money, but discovered some missing. Police later charged motel maintenance man David Mims, 49, with breaking into the room and taking some of the cash, Smith said

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Robber robbed

Bungee cord technology??

Ananova
A New Zealand adventurer is planning to bungee jump 4,920ft from a helicopter.

A. J. Hackett, 48, who pioneered bungee jumping, will make the jump over Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, later this year. If successful, it will double the existing record for the worlds highest bungee jump.

“I do get a bit scared sometimes but Im still able to split the emotion from the logic,” he told ABC radio in Australia.

The venture has been enabled by breakthroughs in bungee cord technology.

……………………….

How high will the first bounce be? Assuming the cord doesn’t break. In that case, how deep will the hole be?

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Bungee cord technology??

Use earplugs by yon bonnie banks…

The Daily Record
A pipe band have been told to wear earplugs because they are louder than a jet engine. Noise expert Sheila Mackay told the pipers and drummers they are risking damage to their hearing for good.

The audiologist gave her warning after visiting the most northerly pipe band on the mainland as part of Healthy Highland Week. She found the skirl of the pipes when Wick Royal British Legion Scotland Pipe Band practised in their Caithness hall hit 108 decibels. But the snare drums were the worst offenders – reaching 122 decibels.

The roar of a jet engine averages 120 decibels.

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Haven’t I told you? Don’t mess with oldtimers.

The Daily Record
A 100 year old man fought off three teenage muggers after being surrounded at a bus stop. Buster Martin, who still works five days a week as a car washer and mechanic, was followed by the gang when he left a pub.

He said: “They pushed me against a wall and tried to take my money from me. I went mad. I was lashing out on the floor and then I stood up and was kicking them all.  I pushed one and kung-fu kicked the other one between the legs. They ran off scared after I did that and I still had all my money. They thought I was an easy target but they didn’t realise what a fighter I can be.”

………………………

After a side trip to the hospital for treatment of a bumped head and bruised rib Mr. Martin showed up for work the next day.

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Haven’t I told you? Don’t mess with oldtimers.

“There’s a bluebird cockatoo on my shoulder…”

Ananova
cockatoo.jpg A German man caught speeding faces losing his licence because he had a cockatoo on his shoulder. Walter Konehauser, 45, said: “She was bored at home and I wanted to take her for a ride.”

He was stopped while doing 60mph in a 30mph zone in Augsburg, Germany. He faces dangerous driving charges.

A police spokesman said: “He should have had the bird in a cage, but when he was stopped it was flying around the car, and could easily have obscured his vision, causing an accident, or caused him to miss important signs like the one telling him to slow down.”

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on “There’s a bluebird cockatoo on my shoulder…”

Thought for the day

I’m NOT short. I prefer to think there is simply more space above my head for word balloons full of devastatingly pithy witticisms.
R. Stevens,

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Thought for the day

Roll out the barrel

Metro.co.uk

beerbarrelsswns_450×509.jpg
Now that’s what you call a beer garden. A barrage of runaway barrels caused carnage after a brewery lorry dropped its load in a quiet Somerset village.

About 100 metal kegs, barrels and bottles rolled into gardens in Pecking Mill, near Shepton Mallet, battering flower displays and spraying beer over nearby homes. The accident is thought to have caused damage worth thousands of pounds, and left residents in shock.

The 14-metre articulated lorry toppled while taking a sharp bend on the A371, a stretch of road known locally as an accident blackspot.

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Roll out the barrel

Dang! Caught!

CNET News.com
A gambling operator in Ontario, Canada, has shut down 87 Konami video slot machines due to concerns that they may contain subliminal messages encouraging players to keep gambling, according to CBC News. The Canadian news service reported that three brands of video slot machines sold by the publisher’s gambling division flashed winning jackpot symbols for one-fifth of a second during every spin.

A Konami spokesperson told the CBC the jackpot symbols were the result of a software glitch the company will fix.

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Dang! Caught!

Does Mercedes sell broomsticks?

More at Ananova
Romanian witches are carving out a lucrative new business – concocting spells to help locals get EU grants. Until now the country’s witches have confined themselves to love potions and spells to get cows to produce more milk.

But the EU expansion has seen funding for new projects flood into the country and now locals hoping to gain a slice of the action are turning to witches to boost their chances.

Witch Florica, from Pitesti in southern Romania, said: “It’s a new type of spell that we had to work out of course. You cannot pretend you are a real witch if you cannot help a businessman get the European Union funds he wants…”

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Does Mercedes sell broomsticks?

Virgin Mary appears on pizza pan??

Ananova

Dinner ladies at a school in Texas claim to have found the image of the Virgin Mary on the bottom of a pizza pan.

After scrubbing failed to shift it, rumour spread of a divine apparation – and now pilgrims are flocking to a makeshift shrine in the cooking tray’s honour.

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Virgin Mary appears on pizza pan??

Excuses, excuses, excuses

Ananova
An online shop is selling excuses to people in China. The shop, Tuofu, which means ‘bring fortune to people’, charges different prices depending on the type of excuse needed.

Everyday excuses cost the equivalent of [about US $1.50]  while an excuse for breaking off a relationship is [about US $15].

However, the most expensive ‘excuse’ is the marriage proposal which costs more than £100.

…………………….

They’ll give you a discount if you buy more than one excuse at a time.

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Excuses, excuses, excuses

“Live in full color”? Geez, guys! It’s a soft drink!

Japan Today
coke.jpg Coca-Cola Japan Co has redesigned its cans and bottles as part of its “The Coke Side of Life” marketing campaign. The beverage maker said Monday that the new look can will hit the Japanese market on Jan 29 before its introduction to the world market in March. “We live in a world where we make choices every day and ‘The Coke Side of Life’ encourages people to make those choices positive ones,” said Marc Mathieu, senior vice president for carbonated soft drink core brands, marketing, srategy and innovation. “This new campaign invites people to create their own positive reality, to be spontaneous, listen to their hearts and live in full color.”

February 26, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on “Live in full color”? Geez, guys! It’s a soft drink!

Beetle Mods

Lots more at this linkvwmod.jpg

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Beetle Mods

Isn’t it almost Spring?

February 25 — isn’t that almost March and isn’t March almost Spring? Snowed all day yesterday for a total of about five inches of accumulation. Today? Supposed to be in the mid 40’s so we’re looking forward to slush. Wonderful.

snow2_25_07.jpg

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Isn’t it almost Spring?

Today’s thought

No human thing is of serious importance.

Plato

February 24, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Today’s thought

Squirrels in the “what-have-you” are a no-no

IOL
ground-squirrel.jpg An American Airlines flight made an unscheduled landing [in Honolulu] after pilots heard something skittering about in the wire-laden space over the cockpit. The airline blamed the emergency landing of the Tokyo-Dallas flight with 202 passengers on a stowaway squirrel.

“You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don’t want anything up there,” said John Hotard, spokesperson for the Fort Worth, Texas-based airline.

He said pilots feared the animal would chew through wiring or cause other problems.

“So, as a precaution, we diverted,” Hotard said.

Once on the ground late on Friday, the Boeing 777’s human passengers were put up in hotel rooms and later re-booked on other flights.

…………………….

If you have to be stranded somewhere Honolulu sounds like a good place.

February 24, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Squirrels in the “what-have-you” are a no-no

Face like a dropped pie

The Sydney Morning Herald Blogs
The Sydney Morning Herald recently organized a contest of sorts to come up with an Australian national simile. Here’s a few of the resultant entries, the ones that resemble some of our expressions in the States. Lots more at the link.

Better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.
Busier than … a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition.
Colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss…
Couldn’t … pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Couldn’t sell … icecream in hell.
Face like a dropped pie.
Finer than frog’s hair.
Happy as a dog with two tails.

February 24, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Face like a dropped pie

He says he’s been shafted, and now he’s up a pole

Reuters via Yahoo! News
A German father of five sentenced to jail for online fraud is protesting against his conviction by occupying the top of a 22 metre (72 foot) pole.

Fred Gregor, a 45-year-old lathe operator, has been squatting in a tiny cubicle atop the converted television mast since last Saturday morning in a bid to overturn the 15-month prison sentence he is due to start serving on March 1.

“I’ve been unfairly judged”, he told Reuters from his perch in the village of Werben by telephone. “I want a new hearing.”

February 24, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on He says he’s been shafted, and now he’s up a pole

$1,300 in thrift store book — pretty thrifty store

Yahoo! News
Rhiannon Barnes [Georgia] may be the luckiest 15-month-old ever. Or maybe her baby sitter is the fortunate one. While playing with a thrift store book bought earlier in the day for 25 cents, Rhiannon uncovered $1,300 in cash stuck between the pages. Her baby sitter Sheila Laughridge said she only bought the book at Rhiannon’s insistence and was surprised when the toddler found a brown paper bag full of $100s, $50s, $20s and $10s.

Laughridge took the money, which dated as far back as the 1960s, to a local bank, where she received only $300 in exchange because most of the bills were in pieces. The rest of the tattered money was sent to the U.S. treasury department.

February 24, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on $1,300 in thrift store book — pretty thrifty store