Oldster's View

Fight Against Maturity

If you plan to spit gasoline, put your cigarette out first…

spitting gasoline

A German man in the northeastern town of Gross Godems was being treated for serious burns Monday after accidentally setting his apartment ablaze when he mixed up a bottle of gasoline with alcohol, police said.

The 56-year-old apparently grabbed the wrong bottle and took a swig from the gasoline flask, then spat it out when he realized his mistake.

The gas hit a lit cigarette, sparking the fire, police said.

January 14, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Stuff | Comments Off on If you plan to spit gasoline, put your cigarette out first…

Dozens of UFO reports from small Texas town

Lots More at UFO

In [Stephensville, Texas a small] farming community where nightfall usually brings clear, starry skies, residents are abuzz over reported sightings of what many believe is a UFO. Several dozen people — including a pilot, county constable and business owners — insist they have seen a large silent object with bright lights flying low and fast. Some reported seeing fighter jets chasing it.

…Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot…said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. “It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts.”

While federal officials insist there’s a logical explanation, locals swear that it was larger, quieter, faster and lower to the ground than an airplane. They also said the object’s lights changed configuration, unlike those of a plane. People in several towns who reported seeing it over several weeks have offered similar descriptions of the object.

……………………………

There are about 200 reported UFO sightings in the US per year. Most sightings apparently go unreported for fear of ridicule.

January 14, 2008 Posted by | UFO | Comments Off on Dozens of UFO reports from small Texas town

Tip: Don’t throw yourself out the window with the tree

Reuters

A German man threw himself out of a third storey window along with a Christmas tree during a late-night attempt to dispose of his festive decorations.

The man fell 7 metres (22 feet) from his flat after he lost his balance throwing the tree onto the street on Saturday, police in the western city of Moenchengladbach said. The tree did not break the victim’s fall…

The man was taken to hospital in critical condition with severe head injuries after eyewitnesses saw him fall.

January 14, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Stuff, People | Comments Off on Tip: Don’t throw yourself out the window with the tree

Ooops!

Fishing License Stickers

There’s just one problem with the stickers that Delaware requires licensed fishermen to afix to their boats — the stickers quickly disintegrate in salt water.

January 14, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Bureaucrats | Comments Off on Ooops!

Ballet dancer, 88

debut

An 88-year-old Cambridgeshire man has starred in his first ballet after taking up dance at the age of 79.

ballet2.jpg

January 14, 2008 Posted by | People | Comments Off on Ballet dancer, 88

Give that GPS a sharp rap, Sargeant.

Tanks

A tiny Shropshire village is being invaded by Army tanks – because of a sat nav blunder.

Soldiers looking for barracks at Donnington, near Telford, are being sent to a picturesque hamlet with the same name 15 miles away.

Residents of little Donnington say as many as seven tanks sometimes line up on a tiny lane in the hamlet, and it can happen as often as seven times a week.

………………………..

Hard to mistake Donnington for an army base…there are only six houses there according to one local.

January 14, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Stuff, People | Comments Off on Give that GPS a sharp rap, Sargeant.

The week after Christmas (Thanks, Katherine.)

‘Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt

I said to myself, as only I can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie – not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

January 14, 2008 Posted by | People | Comments Off on The week after Christmas (Thanks, Katherine.)