Oldster's View

Fight Against Maturity

File under: Gotcha!

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August 11, 2008 Posted by | Dumb drivers | | 1 Comment

Things to ponder. (Thanks, Katherine)

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria.  They’re the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What happened?”
22. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
23. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

August 11, 2008 Posted by | Quotes | | Comments Off on Things to ponder. (Thanks, Katherine)

Crime tip: Don’t leave your driver’s license on the counter

The Courier-Mail

A clumsy [Australian] criminal…left his driver’s licence on the counter of the Townsville video store he robbed of cash and cigarettes. Police said the man was pretending to [rent] DVDs at the Civic Video at Garbutt when he jumped the counter and grabbed cash and cigarettes before fleeing about 8.20pm.

Police said he dropped his driver’s licence and “other identifying material”.

“Not the brightest crim we’ve come across,” one policeman said.

August 11, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Crook | | Comments Off on Crime tip: Don’t leave your driver’s license on the counter

Maybe she just had a lot of phones…

More at KOB.com

Most people want to get rid of their old phone books, but a Las Cruces [New Mexico] woman has been indicted for fraud for allegedly keeping more than 100,000 directories.

Fifty-five-year-old Debra Gottrell is accused of storing the books in three Las Cruces storage units during a four-year period instead of delivering them as she was hired to do.
We once had 12 phone books left for one telephone. I bet a lot of the books people are paid for delivering are never delivered.

August 11, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Crook | | 1 Comment