Oldster's View

Fight Against Maturity


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November 17, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on Oooops!!!

“…Columbus sailed all over the world until he found Ohio.”

Some people collect sports memorabilia, or rare coins, or sea shells from the beach at Ocean City. Wilson Watson collects sentences. He taught local community college students for 35 years and has now slipped gently into retirement. But his students’ sentences trail behind him like ship’s anchors, evidence of the sinking of American writing skills.

Or, as one of Watson’s scholars wrote so succinctly: “Some people use bad language and is not even aware of the fact.”

…Watson taught English at Catonsville Community College — now the Catonsville branch of the Community College of Baltimore County — and through the years was occasionally amused and sometimes appalled at his students’ writing. Eventually, he started jotting down their sentences and holding onto them.

“Understand,” he says, “this is not just Catonsville I’m talking about. Through the years, I’d talk with colleagues all over the state. They all had the same stories. We’d ask each other, ‘What’s happened to writing? What’s happened to language?’”

You want more examples? How about these beauties:

• “The person was an innocent by standard, who just happened to be the victim of your friend’s careless responsibility.”

• “Society has moved toward cereal killers.”

• “Romeo and Juliet exchanged their vowels.”

• “Willie Loman put Biff on a petal stool.”

There’s more at  www.baltimoreexaminer.com

November 17, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Stuff, People | | Comments Off on “…Columbus sailed all over the world until he found Ohio.”

Riding high is a no-no

A Glens Falls [New York] man who was arrested Thursday night in connection with charges that he had a safe full of pot stolen from his home was charged [again]early Saturday when police found him driving downtown on a riding lawnmower while under the influence of marijuana, police said.

Donald L. Johnson, 42, of Ridge Street, drew police scrutiny because he had a man riding on the hood of the tractor as he crossed Glen Street near South Street at 12:09 a.m., said Glens Falls Police Sgt. Keith Knoop. Glens Falls Police Officer Seth French approached the men, and found that Johnson appeared intoxicated and admitted he had smoked marijuana, Knoop said. So he was charged with driving while ability impaired DWAI by drugs, a misdemeanor, and issued 10 traffic tickets, Knoop said.

via PostStar.com

The rest of the tickets are listed in the article at the link. And the guy riding on the hood of the lawnmower? He was ticketed too…for not wearing a seat belt.

November 17, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Stuff, Strange | , | Comments Off on Riding high is a no-no