Oldster's View

Fight Against Maturity

Thanks, Katherine…I guess

“I was shopping for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Target won’t let me shop there anymore (nor will Sam’s or Costco).”

January 31, 2009 Posted by | animals, dogs, Fun stuff | 2 Comments

Now if they could just get him to put the seat down


January 31, 2009 Posted by | animals, bird | , | Comments Off on Now if they could just get him to put the seat down

…and I’ll huff and I’ll puff…

Straw council houses are being built in Lincolnshire to cut costs and energy consumption.

The six three-bed semis will each be made of 500 bales and at £60,000 apiece will cost £20,000 less to build than a conventional house, reports the Daily Mirror.

North Kesteven County Council leader Marion Brighton explained: “It’s the first time this has been tried in the UK. The properties will look like conventional council houses except the outer walls will be whitewashed rather than red brick.

via Ananova

January 29, 2009 Posted by | Strange | Comments Off on …and I’ll huff and I’ll puff…

Revenge for Thanksgiving?

turkhead

Through rain, sleet and snow, Rockport mail carriers deliver — until now, anyway. And it wasn’t the rain, sleet or snow that stopped some of them.

Nearly every day over the last five months, an average of 10 turkeys — led by a pair of male “ring leaders” — have been chasing and attempting to peck a postal worker on his route along Marmion Way and South Street.

via Turkey terror in Rockport: Post Office suspends some deliveries after birds’ attacks on carriers – GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA.

January 28, 2009 Posted by | animals, Strange | , | Comments Off on Revenge for Thanksgiving?

Attn. Parkland Library Staff: Are you ready?

There wasn’t time to look up any books on obstetrics before a woman gave birth in the Denver Public Library.

Library spokeswoman Celeste Jackson says the woman walked into the library, said she had been riding a city bus and was in labour.

She gave birth just inside the library entrance.

via  CBC News

January 28, 2009 Posted by | People, Strange | Comments Off on Attn. Parkland Library Staff: Are you ready?

UFO’s doing donuts in Argentina

Santa Fe, Argentina – The two circles shown above are either marks on the ground left behind by a UFO and therefore represent one of the most significant UFO related incidents to occur over the last few months or the remains of a hoax and therefore of no more value than the cow pats that surround them.

At 3 AM on January 14 2009 Argentinean farmer Nestor Rivoira and his wife Sara Fernandez of Arroyo Leyes, Santa Fe, were woken up by a loud noise coming from their paddock. The couple later described the sound as being similar to that of a blow torch.

Nestor tried to get out of bed to see what was going on outside but claims that a mysterious force disabled him temporarily. Nestor also remembers that his normally brave guard dogs sounded like they were scared of whatever they encountered that night.

Only two days later did Nestor and Sara decide [to] go out to inspect the area they thought the sound came from. What they found left them baffled: Two perfect circles one inside the other, the outer circle measuring three meters in diameter and both circles three centimeters deep. The indented area was completely burnt out with only dry dirt remaining. It appeared that the marks were created by something radiating heat.

The couple at first dismissed any ideas that the circles might have been created by a UFO, however friends and neighbors who saw the marks felt that they were of mysterious origin. Did a spaceship land on Mr. Rivoira’s farm or are some local hoaxers sending them around in circles?

via Our Strange World.

January 27, 2009 Posted by | UFO | | Comments Off on UFO’s doing donuts in Argentina

Haunted house, haunted castle, maybe. But haunted book?

It is part of Governor James Whitcomb’s collection that was donated to Asbury (now DePauw) University in the early 1800s. Included in the collection is one book purported to be haunted. Titled, The Poems of Ossian, The Son of Fingal, it is kept locked away in a special section of the library closed to the public.

For years a story has circulated about a boy who borrowed this book from the library in the 1800s. He became so engrossed reading it that when the library closed he sneaked the book out of the library and took it to his room.

It was after midnight when he finished reading and turned out the lights. Later, he woke with a sense of not being alone. When his eyes became adjusted to the darkness he saw a spectral finger pointing accusingly. Then he heard a voice speaking, “Who stole Ossian?”

A bony hand reached toward the boy, who swore he felt a finger touch his cheek. The boy returned the book first thing in the morning, telling the librarian he’d been visited by the ghost of Governor Whitcomb and promising he’d never take another restricted book out of the library.

via Our Strange World.

January 27, 2009 Posted by | ghost, Strange | , | Comments Off on Haunted house, haunted castle, maybe. But haunted book?

Haz-Mat Team? That’s some spicy sauce!

saucy

Nobody was able to cross the road Monday afternoon in front of Archie Moore’s [Fairfield, Illinois] restaurant after 200 gallons of chicken wing sauce spilled onto Sanford Street.

The street was closed several hours after the 1:30 p.m. spill as the state Haz-mat team was dispatched to the scene.

via NewsTimes.com.

January 27, 2009 Posted by | accident messes, buffalo wings | Comments Off on Haz-Mat Team? That’s some spicy sauce!

What if they shoot back?

The RAF is getting closer to shooting down a UFO according to a former Ministry of Defence employee.

Nick Pope – who worked on the MoD’s UFO desk for three years claimed pilots had fired at UFOs on several occasions – but failed to bring them down.

He told The Sun: “We know of cases where the order has been given to shoot down – with little effect to the UFO.”

Mr Pope added the RAF attacks were “not automatic but happen when something in our airspace is deemed to be a threat”.

via RAF getting close to UFOs.

January 26, 2009 Posted by | UFO | Comments Off on What if they shoot back?

Etch-A-Sketch wow!

picture-51

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January 26, 2009 Posted by | Art for sure | Comments Off on Etch-A-Sketch wow!

Your donation to Goodwill? You might want to check through it again.

A 100-year-old Ellsworth Woodward painting found in Goodwill’s Nashville warehouse has sold for more than $8,000.

Goodwill of Middle Tennessee spokeswoman Suzanne Kay-Pittman says a Boston bidder bought the painting for $8,101 late Sunday on Goodwill’s online auction Web site.

via Houston Chronicle.

January 26, 2009 Posted by | Pictures, Wow! | Comments Off on Your donation to Goodwill? You might want to check through it again.

“Man pulls tap from eye as doctors dither”

A man [in China] was rushed to hospital after a bathroom fall left a tap and 16 inches of pipework impaled in his face. But Yi Zhao…eventually ripped the tap out himself because surgeons spent three hours trying to find a plumber to remove it.

The 57 year old said: “I was tired of waiting and all they wanted to do was talk.”

A CT scan revealed several fractures but no brain or nerve damage.

via Daily Express

January 25, 2009 Posted by | Dumb Stuff | Comments Off on “Man pulls tap from eye as doctors dither”

Be careful! That carton of eggs you bought contains eggs!

In these health-conscious times food companies are increasingly keen to warn consumers if ingredients may cause allergic reactions.

But one firm has gone a step further by advising shoppers that its boxes of eggs contain…egg.

The Happy Egg Company’s [UK] six-pack of eggs – which features the company’s name and is decorated with a picture of an egg and a cartoon chicken – contains the message ‘allergy advice: contains egg’ inside the lid of the boxes.

More at Mail Online.

January 25, 2009 Posted by | Dumb Bureaucrats | 2 Comments

Cadbury Eyebrows

See what eating chocolate will do to you?

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January 25, 2009 Posted by | Strange | Comments Off on Cadbury Eyebrows

“Nigerian police detain goat over armed robbery.” (Some headlines can’t be improved.)

Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

“The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat,” Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

“We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat,” he said.

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January 23, 2009 Posted by | animals | 2 Comments

Maybe the hen had hiccups?

picture-31

A hen has produced an egg with a difference. The eye-watering odd-shaped egg was produced by the hen in Slivno, southern Croatia.

“I thought it was some sort of odd-shaped potato. I couldn’t believe it had come out of one of my hens,” said farmer Neda Glibota, 72. “I called friends to look at it and they were just as amazed as me. None of us have seen anything like it before,” Neda added.

via Ananova – No yolk for hen.

January 22, 2009 Posted by | animals | Comments Off on Maybe the hen had hiccups?

Let’s have another peek at that manual, shall we?

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January 22, 2009 Posted by | Dumb Stuff | 1 Comment

If you are a marijuana delivery guy be sure your license tabs are not expired

Osceola County Sheriff’s deputies found over 200 pounds of marijuana inside the car of man who they conducted a traffic stop around 8:30 p.m. Wednesday.

Deputies stopped the suspect, 39-year-old Christopher Cadenhead, for driving with an expired tag and not having any proof of registration or insurance.

via MyFox Orlando

January 22, 2009 Posted by | Dumb Crook | Comments Off on If you are a marijuana delivery guy be sure your license tabs are not expired

Burn outs + Cannabis plants + police academy = trouble

A driver has been charged after doing burnouts outside a police academy during a graduation ceremony .

A police officer on his way to yesterday’s graduation ceremony at Fort Largs in Adelaide saw a car doing a burnout about 10.30am. He pulled the driver over and cautioned him, AdelaideNow reports.

A short time later, during the graduation ceremony, which was attended by most of the state’s highest ranking officers, the man was seen doing another burn-out outside.

The man was charged with misuse of a motor vehicle and after officers visited his house he was also charged with cultivating three cannabis plants.

via News.com.au.

January 21, 2009 Posted by | Cars, cops, Dumb drivers | Comments Off on Burn outs + Cannabis plants + police academy = trouble

Cop to crook: Funny, I don’t recognize you

A German teen-age [crook] tried to dupe police by lying about where he lived – but ended up in even more trouble when the address he gave turned out to be the home of an investigating officer.

via  Stuff.co.nz.

January 21, 2009 Posted by | Dumb Crook | Comments Off on Cop to crook: Funny, I don’t recognize you