Oldster's View

Fight Against Maturity

“You can lead a horse to water beer…”

More at Pub bans carthorse

A Tyneside pub has banned one of its regulars – a 12-year-old carthorse. Peggy [the horse] first wandered inside the Alexandra Hotel in Jarrow when owner Pete Dolan, 62, forgot to tether her properly while he popped in for a pint.

She quickly found she loved supping John Smith’s bitter and chomping down beef crisps with the other drinkers, reports the Daily Mirror.

But now the pub has had a makeover and landlady Jackie Gray, 46, has decided hoofprints are no longer welcome on the new carpets.

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September 30, 2008 Posted by | animals, Strange | , | Comments Off on “You can lead a horse to water beer…”

This guy better stock up on lottery tickets

More at Man catches bullet in false teeth

A terrified man survived an assassin’s bullet when it ricocheted off his wife’s cheek – and he caught it in his false teeth. The miraculous escape happened in Zagreb, Croatia, as the two men started [fighting] about an overdue debt.

Within minutes one pulled out a pistol and blasted the couple at point blank range.

“He was so close you’d think that one or both of them would be dead instantly,” said one police source in Zagreb, Croatia.

But the bullet just grazed the cheekbone of terrified blonde Mirna Cavlovic and carried straight on towards her husband Stipe, 37. Then amazingly the shot got caught in Stipe’s dentures and fell harmlessly to the ground.

September 30, 2008 Posted by | People, Strange | , | Comments Off on This guy better stock up on lottery tickets

A new meaning for “the government pot”

More at Sri Lanka government

Sri Lanka’s government wants to grow its own marijuana.

Facing a lack of the fresh weed for use in traditional Ayurvedic medical preparations, the government ministry responsible wants to be excepted from laws that have made marijuana illegal on the Indian Ocean island since the 1890s.

September 29, 2008 Posted by | People | , , | Comments Off on A new meaning for “the government pot”

Let’s just check that ol’ computer again…

grandfather pregnant

A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received this surprising news in the hospital’s paperwork: “Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant.” Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen.

The staff at Curry General Hospital in Gold Beach gave the retired mechanic and logger the ridiculously happy news this month, along with some pain pills.

Hospital administrator William McMillan says an errant keystroke caused the hospital’s computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions for the grandfather.

September 29, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Stuff, People | , | Comments Off on Let’s just check that ol’ computer again…

“In the galaxy where all is beauty…”

I received this missive in a junk email account I keep hidden away and felt I just had to publish it as possibly the worst English I have come across yet. Nigerian scammers in general seem incapable of learning even rudimentary English but this guy is in contention for the crown:

Hello Dear ,
In the galaxy where all is beauty i fine it necessary to approach your Platform these way, well i apologies for the inconvenient it will take you to listen to my magistrate,i got your contact when i was searching for business partner,one fact to know is that, the essential sadness is to pass through life without experience, yet is also sad to pass through life without sharing once experience and weakness to others,if this is true of me, i remain my humble self ” Ms Dominic Muna Alin by name from Sudan.

In receipt to your profile, is a pressure and also necessary to relate this issue before your hearing, my late father (Mr Dominic Dim Deng) was returning with a military delegation to the regional capital, Juba, from a political conference in the town of Wau. ,on Friday, 2 May 2008 ,he should had being in (Juba) for a political era, so,their plan clash and my father die.

My aim of writing you is this,Now that Sudan is over-crowing of crisis,we have move out from Sudan to (UNRC) in Senegal,my late father should have being in Dubai for a project on 4th night of these incident, he was expecting a diplomat from Spain to delivered his consignment at Dubai, so, approximately this incident occurred.I need an assistance to retrieved my late father asset into your care as we come over for investment,so, all the documents of his asset is in my position.I need your urgent

update if you are interested of being my partner.

September 29, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Crook | | Comments Off on “In the galaxy where all is beauty…”

Has your coffee been tasting odd lately?

Our Strange World

It wasn’t just the caffeine that gave an eastern Iowa woman an extra jolt when she had her morning cup of coffee. It was the bat she found in the coffee filter.

Officials with the Iowa Department of Public Health said the woman reported seeing a bat in her house but wasn’t overly worried about it…she turned on her automatic coffee maker before she went to bed and had her coffee the next morning. [And] discovered the bat in the filter in the coffee maker when she went to clean it out that night.

Officials said the woman, who wasn’t identified, underwent treatment for rabies.

…the bat was sent to a state lab for testing but its brain was too cooked by the heat of the brewing water to determine if it had rabies.

September 28, 2008 Posted by | animals, Strange | , , | Comments Off on Has your coffee been tasting odd lately?

No bears at Juneau airport…no people either

Link to Alaska airport

The airport serving Alaska’s capital city doesn’t have to worry about bears coming around anytime soon. Juneau International Airport had to be evacuated Friday afternoon because of an accidental discharge of anti-bear spray.

The chemical comes in a canister like pepper spray but is used to defend against attacking bears.

Fire Chief Eric Mohrman says the spray spread through the building via the ventilation system. The terminal had to be cleared and the building aired out. One person was taken to a hospital for evaluation.

September 28, 2008 Posted by | People, Strange | , , | Comments Off on No bears at Juneau airport…no people either

How many transgender students do they have?

Manchester Evening News

Students say new signs on toilets at their union building might be making their WC just a ‘bit too PC’.

The traditional sign on the door of the Gents has been temporarily replaced with one that says ‘toilets with urinals’. And the sign on the Ladies now simply says ‘toilets’ in a move to make the lavatories more inclusive for trans-gender students.

The signs on the toilets in the basement of Manchester University students’ union were changed after a meeting of the union’s executive in the summer. It is thought the temporary ones will be replaced with permanent new signs in the near future.

Jennie Killip, women’s officer at the students’ union, put forward the idea of installing the new signs after receiving complaints from trans-gender students about the facilities.

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The mind boggles at the heights that political correctness is reaching in the UK.

September 28, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Bureaucrats | , , | Comments Off on How many transgender students do they have?

No wonder she walked funny…

nwi.com

From “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” to “Death Row” the titles of DVDs stolen from Kmart seemed to foreshadow the luck of one would-be shoplifter.

A Michigan City woman pulled 19 items out of her pants — including 10 DVDs — Thursday after police were called to investigate a theft report.

A loss prevention agent at Kmart, 750 Indian Boundary Road, on Thursday stopped Tina Yeakey, 32, of Michigan City, and her friend in the parking lot for suspected shoplifting.

According Chesterton police, the investigating officer dumped out Yeakey’s purse and found two dental kits, a bottle of cologne, one toy car, 12 packs of Ponds Facial Strips, a bottle of antifungal cream, two fingernail kits and two bottles of foundation primer were stolen from the store.

The officer then asked if she had taken anything else. She replied “no,” according to police.

When informed that she would be patted down by the officer, Yeakey unbuttoned her pants and pulled out 10 DVDs, a Play Station video game, a pair of white tube socks, a black and red bra, a black and red pair of women’s underwear with the word “pouty” printed on them, three pairs of size 4T boys underwear and two women’s rings.

Yeakey also handed over to police a utility knife that she used to open the packages in the store.

September 28, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Crook, Strange | | Comments Off on No wonder she walked funny…

Gorilla Run

There’s video at Hundreds go ape

Hundreds of people have taken to the streets of east London dressed as gorillas to raise money for charity.

About 750 runners joined in the sixth annual 7km Great Gorilla Run, which is thought to be a world record for the largest gathering of people wearing gorilla costumes.

The event was staged by The Gorilla Organisation, a charity which protects the endangered species in central African rainforests.

September 28, 2008 Posted by | animals, People | , | Comments Off on Gorilla Run

Curses! Foiled Again!

Rousson…go home


A Frenchman inspired by the classic film ET is hoping to become the first person to cross the English Channel in a pedal-powered airship.

It is Rousson’s second attempt at crossing the 28-mile stretch across one of the world’s busiest shipping lanes after he was forced to postpone the challenge in June due to strong winds.

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Unfortunately the winds foiled this attempt also. Rousson was forced to give it up just eleven miles short of France, a little more than half way across the Channel. His airship is so light that any wind above 2 knots means that he has to abort and winds that light are rare in the Channel.

September 28, 2008 Posted by | People | , , | Comments Off on Curses! Foiled Again!

Shelves for all your gadgets

do-it-your-shelf dress

These are exciting times in high fashion. At last, designers are showing outfits that are are useful

You take this dress, shown this week in Milan. The concept is perfection itself, making it easy to carry everything you need for an evening out.

The handy top shelf holds lipstick, cell phones, dental floss, etc. Below that, the larger shelves hold bigger stuff: fried chicken, tasers, canned goods, Hummel figurines… And, the sturdy bottom shelf displays reference books, small dogs and decorative shrubbery

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Do you ever get the idea that “high fashion” designers hate women?

September 28, 2008 Posted by | Dumb Stuff, Strange | , | 1 Comment

First Fall Color

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September 26, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Comments Off on First Fall Color

Fall Bird Treats

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September 26, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Comments Off on Fall Bird Treats

BC Bigfoot

Our Strange World

Tales of a giant, hairy ape-like creature tramping through the woods are running wild in a northern interior B.C. town after a rash of sasquatch sightings.

There have been three reported sightings in the area within a month

September 26, 2008 Posted by | animals | , | Comments Off on BC Bigfoot

Table tennis anyone?

ping pong op

A surgeon used a plastic ping pong ball to keep a two-year-old girl alive.

Dr Albert Shun used the table tennis ball to stop Mackenzie Argaet’s new liver from pressing against vital arteries. The donated adult organ was too big for her body and the ball will stay in the Australian toddler’s body for the rest of her life.

September 26, 2008 Posted by | People | , | Comments Off on Table tennis anyone?

So…what’s your handicap?

One-armed golfer’s hole-in-one

A West Midlands golfer scored a hole in one – despite having only one arm.

Phil Bell, 45, used his “backhand swipe” for the 184 yards, par three fourth hole, reports The Sun.

The dad of two, who lost his right arm seven years ago when his lorry crashed, said: “I knew I’d hit the ball well. But at the green I couldn’t see it and assumed I’d over hit it. Then one of the chaps went white with shock and said, ‘Look in the hole’.”

September 26, 2008 Posted by | People | , | Comments Off on So…what’s your handicap?

Hold the onions…

More at Relishing married life

Two fast food addicts celebrated their marriage with their dream wedding cake – a 42lb cheeseburger. Tom and Kerry Watts’ mammoth burger was nearly half a metre wide and weighed the equivalent of about 100 quarter pounders.

It was the highlight of the couple’s wedding reception which was held at Zak’s American diner in Norwich.

September 26, 2008 Posted by | People, Strange | , | Comments Off on Hold the onions…

Insult added to injury

ticketed for jaywalking

A man who was hit by a truck near the city’s [Boise, Idaho] downtown was also slapped with a citation. Boise police ticketed Ebrahim Balah, 62, for jaywalking shortly after the accident Wednesday.

Police said Balah suffered minor injuries and was taken to a local hospital as a precaution.

Police said he was hit by a passenger truck while trying to cross a busy one-way street. Officials said the section Balah tried crossing is not a designated walkway and pedestrians are not permitted to cross.

September 25, 2008 Posted by | People | | Comments Off on Insult added to injury

Sometimes getting paid is like pulling teeth

The Local

A disgruntled dentist in the Bavarian town of Neu-Ulm is under investigation for assault and theft after forcibly retrieving unpaid dental work from the mouth of his patient.

According to police, the dentist knocked on the door of the 35-year-old woman on Monday evening and without saying a word overpowered her and removed two bridges that he had previously fitted to replace teeth he had pulled. Although the woman’s insurance covered part of the costs, she had apparently failed to pay the remaining €400 for the dental work.

He then left silently, but the woman went to the police to press charges.

September 25, 2008 Posted by | Strange | | Comments Off on Sometimes getting paid is like pulling teeth